• you could get into your possession, evidence so damning that it will most definitely destroy your relationship with tht person..

• it will destroy the relationships of tht person with many more other ppl..

• falling out with tht person is not an option, or rather, the last thing you would ever want..

• many ppl will get hurt..

• and the only person who might understand your predicament is not exactly on speaking terms with you anymore and you dont want to be a nuisance..

would you:

• get tht piece of evidence and find out once and for all..

• get tht piece of evidence and keep it for a day when you're brave enough to find out..

• not do anything, be left wondering and suspecting tht person forevermore..

a year ago i would've flat out wanted to know for sure. in fact, i would've gone out looking for evidence/more information.

then around this time last year, everything changed.

and i became someone who'd rather not know. not not know, but not wanting confirmation, because i already sort of know, just not in the colour details. and 'sort of knowing' is good enough because it proves and changes everything and nothing at the same time. what does knowing bring me? it changes nothing to the world. but it breaks me.

ps. i know what you're thinking, i know who you think im referring to. the answer is 'no'.

pps. and it's 'no' for your second guess too.