when jealousy hits, it is felt in the epicenter of the body - the solar plexus. if jealousy had a colour, it would be silvery-grey, with a poisonous tinge of green and purple. a stealthily shimmering molten liquid with high viscosity and a slightly sticky disposition. if you should try to squelch jealousy, be warned that it grows and expands to fill your gut with more of the same viscousness and seeks to obstruct your breathing. most visible evidences of jealousy are furrowed brows, overbright eyes and a slight greening of skin. sometimes a thick shiny viscid fluid is known to seep out of the ears too.

anger is felt in the heat surrounding the entire upper body, making your hair stand quivering as if in an earthquake. loud roars sound in your ears and vision is assaulted by colours that suddenly appear too vivid. no prizes for guessing that if anger has a colour, it is a fiery furious red, almost black in the core, resembling inky tar that is sticky and indelible. most obvious indicators of anger are the distorted waves of heat in atmosphere immediately surrounding body and a naked orange flame dancing in each eye, cartoon style. smoke may also be emitted off top of head.

sadness is felt in the stomach. a dull pitching feeling. acids flow down the insides of the gut in a gathering pool at the pit which enhances the emptiness of the chasm within. food and water does nothing to fill this gaping hole. sadness is a dull sickly yellow, like mouldy cheese or phlegm. most visible evidence of sadness is melancholy-induced retching.

disappointment is felt in the oesophagus, or more accurately, in the short shallow gasps of oxygen-deficient air up and down the breathing tubes. all the air in the world and there is insufficient oxygen in the lungs no matter how hard, how long and how deep you breathe. most obvious indicator of disappointment is the gradual onset of jaundice due to oxygen deprivation. disappointment has no colour. it is nothingness when you close your eyes, and nothingness when you open them.