i woke up today and i knew it was gonna be a great day.

what a vast change from the miserable weekend i had!

and neither of these moods are the result of any thing/s. nothing particularly good nor bad has happened to me. yet i wanted to hurl myself out the window on sunday afternoon. im thankful i wasnt anywhere near mrt tracks cos i probably wouldnt have thought twice. anyway.

perhaps it's a culmination of the little things. i promised myself i wasnt gonna let the little things eat me up. what for, right?

but it's so much easier said then done. itsy icky things sneak up on you and youre not even fully aware that theyre manifesting themselves in your insides until they bunch up into big green slimy things crawling within you. and then i break down and cry. what's i to do?

or maybe im sitting there with nothing to do and no inclination to do anything anyway, and then i feel the emotions start churning in my stomach, faster and stronger, until they push upwards and suddenly there's a huge swell in my chest pushing against my lungs, wanting to get out anyway possible.

or maybe im sitting on the potty in the morning, eyes crusted shut, all warm from the comforters and groggy in the head, and inexplicable break into a smile. cos i just know that that day, today, is gonna be a great day.

i have a crazy hectic week ahead, and im loving every bit of it. ok i lied. im not looking forward to the fyp. anyone who is is seriously nuts and deserves to be pushed under a bus. i dont like fyp, but i like the feeling of keeping busy, getting things done and getting the awesome rush of accomplishment at the end of it all. i dont even have to be doing something very meaningful, just lots of things to occupy my time, make me feel like i made use of time today, i accomplished something today, and im happy. and so far, monday has been good to me. i dont know why, but a trip down to ppt's room with rach always seem to coincide with my happy days. perhaps the trip down to visit ppt IS the reason for my happy days...

i love being a busy bee. a busy bee makes one a happy bee.

i could be busier, but the awful thing about schedules is that sometimes they clash. pff. that annoys me, when im trying to fit in many many things, and somewhere along the lines someone/something decides they aint gonna live happily side by side. PFF.

im getting good at pushing unwelcomed thoughts out of my head. i could name several things that are annoying me now, but i think ill rather not access these thoughts, because.. they are minor things. and i vow.. even if i cant not let the little things bother me, ill try my darndest anyhow. i can, however, name the many other things that are warming my heart at this very moment. thinking of all the engagements im making this coming week makes me happy. all the things to be done, people to meet, good times to share. probably the best part about the week is that there is nothing unpleasant upcoming. no icky slides to prepare, no pre-presentation jitters, no horrible tutors, no quizzes, just a lot of reading, tanning, dinners, shopping and err, yeah work.

have you ever heard someone wax lyrical about their upcoming week? i hope i didnt jinx it.

i must be a special kind of freak.

but who cares, i know i wont be happy for long. i usually dont. i should milk it for all it's worth.