here's my 2cents on filee's post about hoobastank's "the reason":

i believe that people do feel so sorry for what they have done that they, as the song goes, live with the regret for the rest of their lives.

ok, maybe "for the rest of their lives" is stretching it a bit far, perhaps when i've lived a bit longer and seen more of life i'll get back to you on this one.

but regretting the hurt you caused someone else for a long long time? hell, yeah i believe it. it all depends on whether you've realised your mistake and know that if given the opportunity once more, you wouldnt commit the same error. it's knowing how deeply you have cut the person, seeing the hurt on their faces, seeing their tears, knowing how you contributed in large part to their sleepless nights that wrings your heart into a ball of shame and makes you just want to fling yourself against the wall. how could you. just really, how could you.

and it's precisely because after the hurt is done and the damage cannot be undone that makes you feel even worse.

how does it take before you stop killing yourself over it? it depends on how long the individual takes to forgive him/herself. i personally have great difficulty with it. it's easy to forgive others, and i daresay that i truly have not hated anyone lasting longer than perhaps a couple of days. the energy expended is simply not worth it. besides, havent i often trespassed moral boundaries myself. what right do i have to judge someone else? but strangely i cant seem to apply the same concept on forgiving myself. (i can hear xy saying it now, "if even God has forgiven you, why cant you forgive yourself?") i dont know. would it help if the other party forgives me? even then, i dont think so. because i answer to myself. and that's just it. i cant forgive myself because i cant answer to my own conscience.

i hate the feeling of regret.

because regret reeks of helplessness.

and i fucking hate the feeling of helplessness even more.

just to set the record straight though, "the reason" is not my song of the year. it got grating after a while. and i totally dont get how the video has anything to do with the message of the song. maybe someone can enlighten me. or not. or whatever.



"i had it all. and i screwed it up for the memory of a feeling"



p/s - the writer is normally a happy, well-adjusted young adult who enjoys eating, shopping, and lampooning horrid music videos.