Friday, July 23, 2004
skip me, pass me over
how i regret not going for another sakae buffet today. i wasnt hungry then, but now im famished. and im stuck at home. i guess it's microwaved lasagne then.
im totally jian bu de ren today. i look like an anaemic hospital patient who hasnt had a good night's sleep in days.
i had a scary dream last night. i was in some guy's car, some guy whom i dont actually know in real life. in his car, he had numerous rectangular slabs of concrete with human figurines sticking out of them (think phoebe's awful painting with the doll sticking out of it in Friends, but much smaller in size) propped up on his dashboard. each doll was mutilated in a different way. it was like some death hall of fame or sth. there were so many dolls and even though i was absolutely aghast, i couldnt tear my eyes away from each one as he pointed to them. the only one tht i can still see clearly now in my mind's eye is a doll pricked with needles all over its body. it's totally blood-splattered.
it's weird how i frequently have frightening dreams. i havent even told you guys yet abt the one with falling babies and baby-eating midget monsters. i do have normal dreams yknow, but it's weirder how i dont remember them nearly as vividly when i wake up as the scary ones. these scary dreams dont really scare me actually. the ones tht freak me out are the suicide ones (of others) and the ones in which ppl i love die. i dont take any of these dreams literally cos i believe dreams are a representation of sth else, perhaps a metaphor for sth tht the dreamer is currently bothered about or a situation tht he/she is going through. and anyway i dont think dying has to represent sth morbid at all.
i dont think im a disturbed person. not disturbed in the mentally unsound, quick-get-a-psychiatrist kinda way anyway. if you insist, you can say i have some demons inside my soul, some skeletons hiding in the closet. but doesnt everyone. i guess tht's probably the closest literal meaning you can draw out of it. ;)
oh, and i decided it's too close to dinnertime to have a lasagne... im having a lo mai kai in hae bee hiam flavour!
im totally jian bu de ren today. i look like an anaemic hospital patient who hasnt had a good night's sleep in days.
i had a scary dream last night. i was in some guy's car, some guy whom i dont actually know in real life. in his car, he had numerous rectangular slabs of concrete with human figurines sticking out of them (think phoebe's awful painting with the doll sticking out of it in Friends, but much smaller in size) propped up on his dashboard. each doll was mutilated in a different way. it was like some death hall of fame or sth. there were so many dolls and even though i was absolutely aghast, i couldnt tear my eyes away from each one as he pointed to them. the only one tht i can still see clearly now in my mind's eye is a doll pricked with needles all over its body. it's totally blood-splattered.
it's weird how i frequently have frightening dreams. i havent even told you guys yet abt the one with falling babies and baby-eating midget monsters. i do have normal dreams yknow, but it's weirder how i dont remember them nearly as vividly when i wake up as the scary ones. these scary dreams dont really scare me actually. the ones tht freak me out are the suicide ones (of others) and the ones in which ppl i love die. i dont take any of these dreams literally cos i believe dreams are a representation of sth else, perhaps a metaphor for sth tht the dreamer is currently bothered about or a situation tht he/she is going through. and anyway i dont think dying has to represent sth morbid at all.
i dont think im a disturbed person. not disturbed in the mentally unsound, quick-get-a-psychiatrist kinda way anyway. if you insist, you can say i have some demons inside my soul, some skeletons hiding in the closet. but doesnt everyone. i guess tht's probably the closest literal meaning you can draw out of it. ;)
oh, and i decided it's too close to dinnertime to have a lasagne... im having a lo mai kai in hae bee hiam flavour!
